Bar Etiquette: How To Get Served Quickly

We're all guilty of doing things we shouldn't in bars. Christ, you should see how I've misbehaved in the past... I'm sure you've sometimes noticed your bartender roll their eyes at you because you just don't know your etiquette, or you're having two conversations at once, or you're impatient, or you're just a massive knob... etc etc.

We all hate waiting to be served, when that drink you've longed for all day is so close you can see it, but you can't quite have it yet. Its torturous. Anyways, I reckon if you learn a couple of my simple rules you'll end up getting served a lot quicker this Christmas, thus allowing you more time to spend chatting up that bird/bloke at the Christmas Party, and inevitably, making a drunken fool of yourself at Karaoke. So, here's my Dos and Don'ts of how to get served quickly.

DO
Make eye-contact with your bartender. They already know you are waiting 'coz your standing at the bar, but if they see that you are paying attention and eager to get your order in quickly, then they will acknowledge you and serve you promptly.



DO
Order more than one drink at a time. There is NOTHING more frustrating to a bartender than asking for one Gin & Tonic, then, when its made and in front of you, asking for another, or for a Vodka & Tonic, or asking for one cocktail at a time.

Your bartender is brilliant at multitasking, can remember long orders, and can speed up drink-making by doing more than one at a time. Oh, and that Guinness you're after, do yourself a favour and order it first!

DO
Return your empty glasses. Granted, there's no discount on your next order for this, but a good deed may prompt one in return. At the very least, you'll get a smile, or you'll just sleep at night knowing you've done a good deed, allowing staff more time to serve at the bar. Heck, it might just get you served a little quicker.

DO
Buy your server a drink if they've done a good job. Just the one though, not every round, or you'll come across as a bit of a weirdo. A drink is much appreciated at the end of a hard shift.

DO
Have your money ready. We don't want to wait around while you count your pennies out. Neither does the guy next to you waiting with the angry eyes. If we're waiting for you, and everyone is waiting for us, then everyone is also waiting for you.

DO NOT
Wave your money at a member of staff. Not only do you look like a massive dick to your server, you also look like a massive dick to everyone else. We know you have money, that's why you're at the bar. It will not get you served quicker.


DO NOT
Shout 'I was first' when someone gets served quicker than you. We're all in the same boat, and your bartender will do their best to prioritise those who have been waiting longest, but don't get bitter if someone is served out of turn, you'll only go down that priority list further. Same applies for waving, whistling, banging your glass etc.

DO NOT
TEAR UP THE BAR MATS OR BEER LABELS. Ggggrrrrrr this makes us SO ANGRY.

DO NOT
Whine like a baby when you're asked for ID - I'm nearly 27, own my own pub and I STILL get asked for ID everywhere I go. It just doesn't matter, it's not an insult. Get over it and get it out. The ID I mean.


And lastly, but definitely not least...

DO NOT
Drink and Drive. I know it goes without saying, but stay safe this Christmas. And at all other times. Enjoy!