World Cup fever is in full swing, and although England might not make it out of the group stages, just like the majority of the country I’m getting involved and pretending to know what I’m talking about.
My friends have talked of nothing in recent weeks except their World Cup Dream Team, stats and players. This is a group conversation I have quite rightly been left out of as I barely know what colour teams play in, let alone about individual players and stats. A bit like Adrian Chiles and ITV then…
So, on to something I do know a thing or two about. Here’s my World Cup Dream Team of Doom. Sorry, I mean Booze. In typical English fashion, I’m sporting a 4-4-2 formation.
In mid-field I want control and range, but the ability to tackle hard. Confidence and consistency is important too, and the element of surprise. Juan Mata has all of these qualities, and therefore it seems fitting to choose a Spanish beer. Rewind to last week, and my blog on my favourite beer. With a steady and consistent output, a potentially hard-hitting 6% ABV and the surprising Rosemary and Honey tones, La Socarrada is perfect.
A wall of deference is vital in a World Cup. It’s crucial to stop goals; not just to win games, but also to limit the goal difference that could see your opponent go through instead of you. Hops have natural antibacterial qualities, and help us build a natural defence against allsorts of nasties. The team’s health is paramount, and that’s why I’m taking a massive ‘Hop-Bomb’ of a beer with me to Brazil.
Sierra Nevada’s Torpedo Extra is an assertive IPA with a dry finish and hints of grapefruit, pineapple, pine and caramel.
In goal I need something reliable to stop me scoring an own goal. My fall back drink needs to be a last resort. When the rest of my team is flagging this drink will be something that will see me through. Rum and Coke with a squeeze of Lime (Cuba Libre stylee) is always my fall back. My favourite rum is Diplomatico, from Venezuela, and although they haven’t qualified for this World Cup, they do share a border with Brazil, and they’re not that bad at football. Are they? I dunno.
Rich, sweet, smooth and fruity, the Diplomatico Reserva Exclusiva is the most decorated Rum in the world, and therefore is thoroughly deserving of a place in my Dream Team. You can pick up a bottle from Edelices for only £29.75
To manage my team, I need a brewery who is smart, well-presented and lead by example. No regard for competition or what the press say, my manager needs to concentrate on the task in hand. The Kernel Brewery think outside of the box and are willing to take risks. Young and determined, The Kernel will carry my team to glory; upsetting trends, the bookies favourites and will put my team on everybody’s lips (literally!)
So, you heard it here first. Forget Rooney, Gerard and Wellbeck, what we really need to get us through the group stages is booze! And lots of it!