Thursday, 6 February 2014

Awesommelier in Despair Again: Riedel Launch a Coca-Cola Glass

Recently I visited the Riedel glassware website to see what ridiculous items I needed to clutter my kitchen with, and also to look at the phallic decanters and I discovered that one of the ideas I had for a VINSPIRE spoof post had actually come true.

Riedel have made a glass specifically for a soft drink.
BEHOLD: the Riedel Coca-Cola glass.

I'm dry now. I give up. I had all these great ideas for Vinspire spoof pieces and now I just can't get out of bed in the morning. These were just a few I was looking forward to sharing with you.

The Lost Nude Photos of Steven Spurrier
Not actually lost, just mistaken for Helen Mirren.

The Truth About Shipping Laws
It's not truly the law. Italian wineries just don't want their wine in fucking Florida. Wineries of Piedmont donate millions of euros to keep their wines out of the hands of idiots.

The Secret Paris Tasting of 1982
France vs. Italy. Neither country was able to actually win anything. Naturally they both ended up surrendering.

Georg Riedel arrested in Ponzi Scheme
Madoff quoted in the New York Times: "I couldn't even screw people out of so much moolah. I doff my cap to him. The reprobate."

Natural Wine Conference Actually Satan Worship
No sane person would go. It's a front. You drink your orange wine before you partake in human sacrifice. No-one's sure which of those two activities is actually worse.

M.W. Awarded to Topshop Mannequin

Not that revelatory, it's not exactly the first dummy to gain those two magic letters.

Well played Riedel. Well played.

Frances is now desperately looking for other ideas for Vinspire columns. She might actually resort to Cork Vs. Screwcap Vs. Normacorc. HELP HER.

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